Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
