Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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