Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
