don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
