i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm really into asian looking animals
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize