Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
