Your face is a jimmy john
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
