so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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