you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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