I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
