How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
