the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
