fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am naked and annoyed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
soo... how was my night?
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