just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize