I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
