gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
