i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
