He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize