How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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