They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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