Your dad touched me again.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this will be a night to untag.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
