Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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