maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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