If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
40s are totally the cure
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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