3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
