Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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