So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
