I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
