nut hugger
oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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