For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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