I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
