Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You don't make any sense
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