I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's an acceptable place to lick
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize