I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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