I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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