I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
