HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
