what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
