awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
