I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
