i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
