That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
