Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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