I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
