I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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