That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
