OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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