Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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