All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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