The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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