every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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