The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
