I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
