I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
