so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Floor bacon is actually really good
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
