she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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