i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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